30th july 2009

To "you know who I am". No, I have no idea who are you. Instead of hiding your name and saying such things, why not get a life?

You can no longer find joy in something you do not love. It just seems to fade away, and everything seems to be crumpling down.

When something is past its time, it is past. There are many others who understand this principle more than I ever would. Time is like sand. You place it in your hand, and it fades away. you can't catch back the sand that is blown away, neither can you make up for lost time.

Passion without fire is salt to be trampled upon. Passion gets killed, dreams get destroyed, hopes can dashed, but life still goes on as usual. So why bother holding on to senseless passion.

Good night.

29th july 2009

I almost punched my piano just now. I tried playing and I ended up being more frustrated. I almost ended up smashing my piano. This is the extend that I would go. I am telling you this for a purpose.

I stared the the keys. There was nothing joyful. Instead these fingers just feel like smashing a hole. I hate this instrument.

On a lighter note, my interview was unsuccessful. This means I do not have to go to Yew Tee anymore.

Good night.

28th july 2009

Pei da said he's going to treat me sushi buffet this friday! Hooray for friends like this. It's little acts like this that makes you smile.

I'll be giving away something this sat. Thought I would hold back or be filled with emotions. But no, there wasn't. It's time for it to go. Initially it really meant a lot to me, it even cost a lot. But after something happened, this item does not matter anymore. This is partially because my expectation far exceeds myself. I really once enjoyed this item, but somehow now, the joy is killed.

I can't find it back. and I have no intend to.



Cheryl, be blessed upon inheriting my item. I wish you all the best.

today

Ok. I do not know what to say write now. There are paradoxical thoughts. I received some smses that really brighten up my day today. If you're looking at this, thank you. and I know you won't be.

I initially wanted to post something else, but after some thought, I didn't. The encouraging words of someone changed my thoughts. Well there. The power of encouragement. The power of believing. Sometimes encouragement goes a longer way than you ever expected. Sometimes it's even more powerful than soft rebuke when you choose to believe in someone.

That's all for today. Thank you.

Be blessed, you who are reading this post.

Time

I saw my previous posts andI have no idea what I was writing. Sometimes I wonder who wrote all these.

25th July 2009

Hey Karen Mok! If you are seeing this, Happy belated birthday! It's always glad to have you around. You lighten the atmosphere with your "YOUNGness".

Well. I have a ulcer in my mouth. And it absolutely kills the joy of eating. I take a bite and I'm feeling all "ouch". So yeah, ulcers can be quite distracting and painful. I wonder how did my ulcer come about?

I did something very interesting today. I subscribed to a mobile broadband plan. Cost about 15 dollars per month. This was my first time signing up for a plan. I was really a klutz when I was at the counter. I was filled with anxiety and was so nervous. I took out my ez link card when the person asked me for my NRIC. How cool is that.

Know what is more cool? My ulcer hurts. Badly. So help me pray for healing.

Sometimes I cannot understand the fascination with basketball. I saw Choon kiat's blog and the previous post were about lebron and kobe. Wow. Basketball heros. And I don't think I even know their faces.
I meet this guy from my course yesterday. He asked me what do I engage in during my free time. I thought for a while, I don't play basketball, I don't game, I don't drink, I don't club.

So I said "I play the piano".

Wow. What an astonising answer.I realised that I'm quite boring. Oh well. Too bad for them then!

It's two more weeks before my birthday. But however, this year feels different. It just feels different from the other years. I know that no matter what happens this year, I'll be happy. I will reach my objective. So yeah. I always thought that birthdays are specials. And they still are. Yes, they are.

Be blessed, you who are reading this post.

21th july 2009

There's something I haven't did for the past 3 days. I must go and do it soon. Don't try to guess, because you will not know. :)
I'm writing this here to make you guess what is it, but you won't ever find out. It's like me finding a book that never exists. Something like that.

Anyway, I'm being posted to yew tee for my internship. I have an interview with the company this friday and most probably I will be accepted. Do you know where Yew tee is? I bet you don't. Same. It's in some far away place from Pasir Ris.

It's really a great distance for me. The travelling time would take almost 2 hours. Strangely though, I feel that I should go to Yew tee for my internship. It's just weird. I cannot explain this feeling. No wait, Actually I can.

Sometimes we go places we do not want to. And sometimes it's for our own good.
Sometimes we are being led into places where our feet does not wish to tread upon; Somethings that's where you are meant to be.

We all have our struggles in life. We all have problems. We all have difficulties. Our attitude would be what that differentiates us from the crowd. Our attitude is what makes us who we are. Sometimes I may not have the best attitude in facing my situation, but in the I still come out of it. Well let's just say it's not by my own strength.

Don't we all love smiles?
I love smiles, especially if they are on people that I know. Don't just smiles attract you? Don't the joy on others give you Joy too? Joy is contagious. Some people may think otherwise, this I do not deny. But Joy is contagious. So smile at me when you see me, especially Vivien Sim! Coz I know you're my blog number one fan! HAHAHAHA!

Be blessed, you who are reading this post.

20th july 2009

I realised that my of style of blogging varies.

Actually there's many things that I want to write. But I shouldn't note it here. So sometimes I wonder what is this blog for.

It's late at night now and I seriously have no idea what to type. Anyway night is not the best time to function. We should be sleeping at night.

Ok. I am going to write on my book now. This is really cool.

Be blessed, you who are reading this post.

17 july 2008

Ok. I really had no idea why I wrote my previous entry. I have no idea what came over me.

It's 0244 hours right now and I'm wide awake at stanley's house. My my. And I have to wake up at 7am. How cool is that.

I always wanted to milk a cow in Australia. That's my dream since way back. I think it's really really cool. You milk the cow, then you drink the milk. That's the freshest milk you can ever get. Man, I really would like to try it right now.

Anyway if you're wondering where's "God" in my post, it's in my other book. So you need to get the book too to know what I'm thinking. But yeah, you won't get the book. :)

I love books, though I hardly read them. It's a collection that the author has, written down with the the mighty pen. I love writing books, though I hardly write any.


Oh yes, I'm looking for a glass bottle. Can someone offer me a glass bottle?

Be blessed, you who are reading this post.

Father

Who on earth is Captain America/ultraman/batman? Can you please stop spamming this place? Do respect others privacy as they open this space to you.

I was just thinking. I am going to be the best father and husband I can ever be. Though I'm may not be the best choice ever, I am going to be the best I can.

All I can say is that I did not have the most pleasant childhood ever. I know how it feels so I am going to make sure that my child gets the best that I can offer. Seriously, I just want to be the best father that I can be.

Children are precious, don't you think so? Just looking at them after having a long makes you feel all refreshed. Children at times can be a nuisance, but at times they give you the peace of mind. Isn't it amazing how they reflect God?

Isn't it amazing when someone looks to you and calls you "Papa"? Isn't it amazing that the child can trust in you? Isn't it amazing that you can be shelter to this little kid? I think that is really really cool. Though it may just be a simple "Papa", it means a lot.

So be the best parent you can. Never forsake your family. Even though you may be struggling financially, put your family before you. Put the interests your family before your own agenda.

At the end of the day, hearing your own child call you "Papa" and saying "I love you, Dad". It makes you forget all that you're going through.

Family is very important. Pray that your family stays together.

And again, I want to be the best father and husband that I can ever be. I am serious.

I'm writing this post because I just think that families are very important. Some of us may not have a perfect family. But we can be the best husband/wife and Father/mother to our spouse and children. It a decision that we have to make. And today I'm making this decision.

Though it may seem quite silly to make this decision at such a young age, but some decisions are better made when you're in your youth. This would be one of those desicion. Be the best father and husband that I can be. I'm serious about this.

Be the best you can.

Love your family.

Be blessed, you who are reading this post.

Book

My connection is still down. Think will be back hopefully by next week.

I have been trying to find a book that never existed for the past 2 days. Though I never wrote this book before, I believe that it existed. ( It does not).

Anyway I have found stuffs that I have written years ago. And my goodness, isn't it amusing that we laugh at things at the wrote years back? I had a good time laughing at what I wrote. I believe you would do the same if you found your writings from a few years back.

My handwriting changed. Guess what. It's more beautiful. Anyway, handwritings can never differ so much. Though it changed over the years, it's still me writing. There's still a distinct mark of "chienkwokseng" in whatever I write.

I going to have a book, even though it would not be published. I'm really going to have a book. Well, I think that something is going to happen when I complete my book. Who knows what. I'm excited about completing this book. But too bad no one will ever see it.

I heard stuffs like your handwriting tells about your character. Something along that line. Oh well. I'm not really good at handwriting so I'm not really sure how to decipher all this stuff. But one thing's for sure, I love my handwriting. I do not deny that it's not the best, but it's me.

Do you love my handwriting?

Be blessed, you who are reading this post.

birthday

Guess what. 5th Aug is coming. To everyone who does not know what that day is, go figure out yourself.

Anyway right, you will not completely know about me through these post. Just to inform you, I have a written diary at home, which nobody else sees. So you need to put these two together to get to know me. So yeah. All the best.

We all have a special days during a year. We values certain days more then others. We accomplish more on some days. We pin for some days to come. Actually right, I don't think you will understand what am I typing over here. I do not even understand myself. Because my heart is not here anymore. Birthdays are cool, but suddenly it don't seem that exciting anymore. Perhaps because currently I'm more excited about something else.

Well here's the reason why I play the piano. It is because faith tells me that it will be anointed. We're all able to speak prophecies. That is our birth right. And I prophesise on my playing right now, that it would be one that would be anointed. I speak life into it. It gives life. It connects.

Oh well. it's gonna be a long day ahead. Weekdays are really cool. You get to meet people outside the church. And it's a monday later on. Which means project meeting. Probably my group members won't even see this,. But it's been great knowing you people. I appreciate each and every one of you.

I've sticked a piece of paper on my handphone. It says something like this. I will bless and pray for someone everyday. Yeah man. The LEAST we can do for someone is to pray and bless them. Anyway just like a said,to really comprehend this, you need both parts of my entries. You need to see my written diary too, which you won't ever get to. :)

However speak to me if you want to know me. And I will speak to you if I want to know you. And I speak a lot.

Be blessed, you who are reading this post.